apparently the secret to your success is patron
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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