I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
