I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
