Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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