So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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