I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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