I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
