the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize