Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
