For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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