she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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