She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
