just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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