So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
