the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
