Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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