so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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