respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My vagina is very pro this idea
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
