She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize