Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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