So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
