I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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