i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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