I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
