But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
