I met the friendliest cop last night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we made out on top of his cat.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
