the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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