Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
