quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize