I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
