We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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