OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
