btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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