you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize