the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I pour the whiskey from now on
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
