ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
