im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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