It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize