I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
