She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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