so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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