There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
