I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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