Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you inspire me to be a worse person
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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