so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This baby is an asshole
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
