so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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