Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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