seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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