she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
