I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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