I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
