How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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