that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
