You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
