We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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