I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
