waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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