I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
